Tina Fey Quotes

Tina Fey Quotes On Acting

And I can see Russia from my house.

Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!

Whatever the problem,

Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.

The upsides of acting in things is mostly getting your hair done and having people give you clothes. So as long as you can have a little bit of that in your life, then it’s just as delightful to be behind camera.

Tina Fey Quotes On Babies

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.

I had to get back to work… NBC has me under contract; the baby and I only have a verbal agreement.

I had to get back to work… NBC has me under contract; the baby and I only have a verbal agreement.

Tina Fey Quotes On Children

(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)

...the music seems

…the music seems creepy, like when children sing in a horror movie

I’m married, you know. I love my husband and I have a child.

Tina Fey Quotes On Comedy

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.

Finally the world would see my full range of comedy characters – from grouchy librarian to Russian librarian.

Yeah, it’s tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I’m really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it’s true. My husband Jeff Richmond saw a diamond in the rough and took me in.

Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity.

Tina Fey Quotes On Funny

I think someone should

I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.

I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.

Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.

I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.

Tina Fey Quotes On Mom

Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.

I had to get back to work… NBC has me under contract; the baby and I only have a verbal agreement.

Sometimes I'll be telling

Sometimes I’ll be telling my husband, ‘I think I’m cracking up’. Sometimes you just need a minute to say, ‘I think I’m cracking’ and just acknowledge it.

You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.

The topic of working moms is a tap-dance recital in a minefield.

I never get to go to movies, because I’m a mom.

My parents are very well-behaved. If anything, if my Mom were here right now, she would hug and kiss every one of you hello, and then she would feed you.

Tina Fey Quotes On Writing

Don’t be too precious or attached to anything you write. Let things be malleable.

Your characters should be as smart as you are, if not smarter.

It has been said that to write is to live forever. The man who said that is dead.

We writers dream of a future where actors are mostly computer generated and their performances can be adjusted, by us, on a laptop, alone.

Most of my work is done

Most of my work is done before we start shooting, preparation work, so my normal day begins when I start writing, it might even be the night before.

Tina Fey Quotes On Church

At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.

Life is improvisation. All of those [improv] classes were like church to me. The training had seeped into me and changed who I am.

Tina Fey Quotes On College

I felt like that character in Flowers for Algernon. Not Charlie, the lady teacher from the college who realizes, ‘I’ve got to stop dry-humping this mentally challenged guy!

I had a gentleman in college tell me, during a date, that I could be really pretty if I lost some weight. On a date!

I dreamed of being an actress when I was a little kid because you don’t know then that the writer writes everything the actor is saying. But as I got older, I got into college and became more aware that writing is another option, and I started getting into it, too.

After college, I knew I wanted to work in comedy, so the first thing I did was go to where the comedy was. I moved from Charlottesville to Chicago, because that’s where The Second City and Improv Olympics are. You have to go wherever you need to go to study what interests you.

I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process. People lose their minds, trying to prove their parental worth by getting their children into one of five colleges; when there are thousands of good colleges across the United States – and elsewhere.