Moving On Sarcastic Quotes

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

I don’t believe in plastic surgery,But in your case, Go ahead.

Silence is golden.duct tape is silver.

Silence is golden.

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.

People say that laughter is the best medicine…

your face must be curing the world!

Violence won’t solve anything…But it sure makes me feel good.

You go girl! And don’t come back.

You go girl! And

Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?

Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

That is the ugliest top Ive ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems

Well my imaginary friend

if you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.

Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!

You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.

You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…

I’m not crazy! The voices

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

Sure I’ll help you out…the same way you came in.

If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.

You sound better with your mouth closed.

I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.

I’m smiling…that

If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.

Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

Expect nothing and you’ll never be dissapointed!

Expect nothing and

You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed

Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone… I realized I can do so much without you.